Concept: Independent Mutuality 🤲

I want a term—interdependent agendas, or independent mutuality—that describes how people often come together with unique goals, partake in a singular activity, and are all served by each other’s participation in the activity without needing to get on board with each other’s agendas. 

Imagine showing up to a flow session with the goal of doing shadow work. Someone else wants to be seen and held. Someone else wants to learn how to feel their feelings better. Although the three goals are independent, they are mutually served by the other goals. Sometimes each individual goal is better served by others having different goals. For example, imagine a fourth person who wants to practice being “the one in charge”. It’s easier for them when no one else wants to also practice being the one in charge.

Maybe there’s already a term for this, or maybe this is so obvious to you it doesn’t need to be said. I think many of us could use the reminder that cooperation doesn’t come at the cost of autonomy; you getting your specific goals met could actually contribute to others getting their different goals met. (Related concepts: interdependence, not needing shared reality)

With love, Jordan