The infinite abundance of growth opportunities 🔭

Generally, I see all judgments as a chance for me to grow, exactly in relationship with how I’m judging someone. It's not always obviously a direct reflection (I think you’re too lazy because I need to relax more, or the all-too-common phenomenon of a male public official campaigning against gay rights while hiring male prostitutes). Sometimes it looks more complementary: If I think you’re too pushy, maybe I need to set better boundaries.  

More generally still, anytime I want anyone or anything to be different is a chance for me to self-reflect, grow, and mature. This is an extremely high bar so it’s easy to use for self-flagellation or hopelessness. But it also means we’ve got endlessly abundant opportunities for growth. All troubles can be made into guides, leading us to ultimate peace and the kind of wise responsiveness that comes from complete acceptance of what is. All we have to do is recognize where we’re not at peace. (If you can’t find anything within three seconds of inward search, congratulations! You’re either bypassing or enlightened! Or both!).

I had a very potent experience of this at a dinner party the other week where I was exploring the situations in my life I find hardest to forgive. Someone reminded me how everyone I love, I love because of how they've been shaped by the situations they've been through, not in spite of them. Seeing how deeply true this is for how I see others, I could more easily recognize its truth in me.

As Joseph Campbell famously wrote: "Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for. The damned thing in the cave, that was so dreaded, has become the center."

With love, Jordan