We’re turtles: We are our shells too 🐢

The relateful approach doesn’t ask us to be vulnerable or stop being defensive; it asks us to be more honest and loving with what’s already here. This sometimes includes opening up (as one of ∞ examples: “I’m ashamed to admit it, but I feel really arrogant hearing this”); other times acknowledging our unwillingness to open (eg: “Thanks for your support, but I'd rather not talk about my feelings about the recent x.”). Sometimes we ask our guard dogs to back off when friends come around, and other times it means asking our friends to get to know our guard dogs.

Another animal metaphor came to mind the other day (can you tell I have young children at home?): We’re all turtles. The “true self” of a turtle isn’t its soft body; it’s the whole thing, defensive shell and all. Part of what makes turtles so unique, cool and interesting is their shells! Maybe humans are like turtles: our unique ways of protecting ourselves aren’t something to ‘get rid of,’ ‘heal’, or otherwise make wrong. Maybe they’re a part of our beauty, something we can all learn to appreciate and work with. Unlike crabs, a turtle doesn’t change shells; it grows as the turtle does. Maybe that’s like us.

If you’re never had the experience of people being intimate with a defense, wanting to get to know it’s uniqueness rather than criticizing it, asking you to change, or attacking, you’re in for a real relateful treat.

With love, Jordan