Internal boundaries 🥅

Boundaries are a buzzword for a good reason. Like riverbanks for water, boundaries support the “water” of love to flow. They’re places of contact, pillars of the temple of connection, ways to deepen our play. I don't think we ever stop learning boundaries because there are new insights at every level of development. We constantly create healthy boundaries that we later outgrow (“Don’t cross the street Jack!”).

Recently I’ve been noticing most of the dialogue I hear is about external boundaries, rather than internal boundaries. Not things like fasting, limiting your time on facebook, or even how you speak—I’m talking about our relationship with ourselves. If boundaries are standards—how well do we uphold our standards in relationship to our inner critic, self-criticism, or introjections? Are we loving, compassionate, and forgiving with ourselves? Can we kindly say, “no thanks” to a voice in our heads that isn’t ours? Can we say ‘no’ to our impulses or avoidance habits, yoking ourselves to a purpose greater than the immediate moment’s comfort or desire? What about in a session—if we feel reactive, can we validate whatever’s happening while also saying no to expressions that don't align with our values? Or do we feel obligated to share it because we’re afraid of spiritual bypassing or not following “the rules of Circling” (which don’t exist)?

Let’s keep filling out the growing body of communal wisdom on boundaries, including the boundaries we hold inside of our particular body-mind-emotion system.

With love, Jordan