Personal Growth Partial Truths: "I" Statements 🤴

We Circlers tend to rely on "I" statements a lot: “I notice____" "I feel this in my belly". "I’m afraid of ____." Even when we include others, the energetic emphasis tends to come back to me: "When you ____, I feel ____." "Being with you, I…"

Speaking in the first person is so helpful: When people are upset. To find the freedom of taking responsibility for my state of being. For letting people into our inner world. For clarity, autonomy, and standing for things that matter. It is a trainable skill that looks to have endless potential for mastery.

But there’s a cost: overused and unconscious "I statements" will exacerbate self-centeredness (Toby Keith puts it nicely in this country classic). They suck the life out of a relationship. Consciousness is less aware of its universality and interconnectivity when it's dominated by "I"s. The individual self can become an unchallengeable sacred cow. Morality gets lost in a sea of relativity. People stop compromising, getting curious, building bridges, and understanding each other. Most of us aren’t referring to Buddha-nature/Christ-consciousness when we say "I", so we often lose our connection with the transcendent.

Let's all keep getting better at "I Statements." Let’s also stay in balance with "you," "we," "it", and the whole range of experience. Otherwise we're like revolutionaries fighting for intimacy that soon become dictators of self-absorption.

With love, Jordan